ToH: Round 1 Part 2

The polecat and his blue companion. An anteater dressed as a pirate. Tequila and a cat-mouse crossover ripping through a nearby tent. There were more things going on, but my brain couldn't register them. Gatling was laughing gleefully behind me. He must have been getting closer because the noise became louder and more maniacal. Believe me, I'm fast- but Gatling was rather large. I only made it up to his knees.
Suddenly, the laugh was right above my head. I glanced up and saw Gatling smiling brightly. So many teeth in such horrible, shiny detail. His eyes each had three triangular marks and single yellow pupils. Gatling was going to catch me, and there wouldn't even be a fight. He was going to slit my insides, steal my organs, and then balance upon a unicycle while eating me. Fan-tucking-fastic.
And then we were rolling. The green beast had curled into a ball around me and we were propelled across the ground thanks to his momentum. I shut my eyes tightly. Was I not just speaking to Crooked? More laughter. Was I going to be the first to lose because an insane green creature challenged me to a game of tag?
THUD. We had collided into something. Gatling slithered off, and I rolled to the side. Canvas brushed against me. I finally opened eyes, although all I found was darkness. I was alive, though. Outrunning Gatling would be out of the question; I needed somewhere to hide. I would also need light… where was my sword? The hidden sheath in my ninja suit was empty. Not good, not good at all.
"Looking for your rainbow?"
Startled, I jumped to the side. My glowing sword came flying out from the ground, point up. If I had been standing there… ugh. It would've been a mess.
"It's really glowy and stuff," remarked Gatling's voice. "How did you get a rainbow from the sky? Can I borrow it? Can I… keep it? Please?"
I made a move towards my sword, except Gatling's head rose up beside it. He grinned widely. Maybe he was able to move through solid matter… or something like that.
"You don't say much." An even wider grin. "You're not even good at tag… how about hide and seek?"
"How about a children's card game?" I edged closer to the seemingly suspended head and my sword.
"Do you have a deck of cards?"
"No, I suppose I don't." A few more steps.
"Pity," he said, and the rest of him appeared. I dashed forward at the same moment only to trip and flip over something. I was expecting to hit the ground, but instead I kept falling. And falling.
Let me take a brief moment to say that there appear to be different types of falling. You can fall down the stairs or trip down a large amount of hard objects. You can also trip over something, and fall flat on your face. Heck, you can even fall up the stairs. How does one fall up the stairs? It's a complicated process full of tripping, falling, and landing. To fall up the stairs, a being must be skilled in the art of tripping, so that they don't land awkwardly or fall awkwardly upon the stairs. I have managed it only twice in my long lifetime. You might think that you have been able to trip up the stairs, but understand that you probably didn't. Only masters can trip up stairs.
Anyway, I just kept falling, for a long time. I couldn't help thinking about how silly it all was, for some reason. Not only was I falling, but I was also underneath a circus. I had entered into a fighting tournament for a chance at a new experience, and then Gatling. Who may have just shouted, "Whee!" and jumped down after me.
Then spontaneous floor! I hit the ground, rock, hard surface, whatever it was with a loud smack. The impact didn't seem to hurt, which was also odd. I couldn't see anything at all. Where was my sword? Still up miles above me? Or at least, it seemed like miles-
Another smack. That was presumably Gatling, who did not have my sword with him. Great, just great. I was stuck down in there without a weapon.
"Your nose is rainbow-colored… ha. It's funny," he said dazedly.
"Thank you for pointing that out." I said.
"You're welcome… pointing, aha, they had promised me a POMEGRANITE!"
Of course I had to get the creepy insane opponent. How would I be able to defeat him without a weapon, especially when the size difference was pretty significant? And for that matter, how would I go about fighting this guy? So far, he had played a game of tag and expressed joy at the thought of falling through a lot of weird stuff.
"That is a very nice potted plant." Gatling's voice came from a little farther away. "Cute little stem, large gaping mouth… flowers have mouths? Mouths have flowers? Hm-dee-dum, fiddle my thumb. But I don't have a thumb… ooh, what is this?
What was even wrong with him? The guy certainly didn't belong in a tournament if he didn't want to fight. Though he might fit into the circus. Specifically, this circus.
"Do you think it's a bit… octopus-like in here?" said Gatling.
"Um, no."
"Ooh, a button, what does it do?" I heard a high-pitched clicking noise a dim light came on from above. There was plant that looked dangerously like a venus fly trap, and a metal ladder coming down from above.
"You tripped on that," he giggled, standing up on his hind legs. "But wasn't it more fun when the lights were out?"
"Wait-" I tried to say, but he turned the lights off anyway. And then on again. Gatling was just standing there with a giant, dementedly childish grin upon his face. The lights then kept going on and off, on and off.
"Could we, you know, keep the lights on?" I shouted at him. He didn't seem to pay any attention at all as he kept pressing the little red button on the wall. Eventually, the lights were stuck on glowing, although Gatling kept jabbing the button, looking very confused.
"But I wanted the lights to be off at the end! It will be much warmer, and then I traveled across many mountains. THE IRONY!"
"You know that this is a fighting tournament, right?"
He nodded and turned to look at me, still pushing the button at a rapid pace.
"And that I am your opponent?"
Another slow nod.
"Can we maybe get on with it?"
"I already beat you in a game of tag. Shouldn't I be the winner?" More jabbing, louder this time.
"It's not quite like that. We actually have to fight." This was going to be very difficult. I have to say, Gatling was a very unique opponent.
"Fighting?" he said as he grinned even wider. Gatling stopped hitting the button to walk over to me. A patch of his fur fell out to reveal a pinkish skin underneath. "If we fight tonight, I shall surely lose my sight while on my plight to defeat your small might. At night, we shall write the right thing with kites and bites to eat. Free verse is alright."
"…what?"
"Oh, you have FOOD! I can smell it." His face came right up to me and sniffed. The green creature eventually found the pocket that my snack box was in, and he took it out with his jaws. It was extremely awkward and uncomfortable, but I didn't want to do anything to tick him off.
"Haha! Ha! I've got your food!" Gatling shouted gleefully.
"Yes. Yes you do. But the cake is a lie."
"No cake? Aww." He set the snack box down in front of him and opened it up. "Ohh, what's this?" He pulled out a black, spherical object with a rectangular display and a button. That must've been the questionable toy. It did look kinda like a grenade... To my dismay, he pushed the button, and a countdown started going. 10, 9, then 8.
Realizing what it must be, I yelled at Gatling, "Drop it and get down!"
"Pretty numbers," he mused as I ran forward and knocked the thing out of his hands.
"Get down, get down!" With five seconds left, I flung myself into the opposite side of the room and curled up into a ball. Half of me hoped that Gatling would heed my warning and do something to protect himself, but the other part of me wanted him to die. Did I really want to kill someone in this tournament? They were dark thoughts.
I shut my eyes.